Sunday, May 31, 2009

Cup Final miss ensures heartbreak for years to come

Anyway, it has been 3 months now since the book has been finished and there is still no sign of a publisher.

I suppose it must be a serious risk for a publisher to publish a book which involves

1 Football
2 Fun
3 And a formula for attracting women.

Maybe I would be better off writing a book titled ' Jordan and Peter - The Make Up'. Publishers would probably beating the door down for some third rate analysis of a subject which generates more interest than the combined forces of the The Credit Crunch and Global Warming. I have to concede that there is a part of me that is quite impressed by the pair.

On to more important matters and yesterday's Cup Final. I support neither team and so only have a passing interest in the game. Having watched the game from the start it was only natural that a goal scored within half a minute of the kick off would have been enjoyed by my good self and discussed later on in the afternoon with Daz and CT (hosting the barbecue) who were standing inches from me as the ball hit the back of the net.

However, Daz's wife (Daz came fifth in the Dating Championship) asked me "if............" and I still can't remember the question, at the very moment that Louis Saha received the ball ready to fire it into the Chelsea net.

As a football fan this was a poignant moment for me. This is because, for me, if you miss a goal live, then you cannot claim to have seen it. So when Daz and CT were discussing it at the table with sausages hanging out of their mouths and large grins adorning their faces, I could only discuss it from a bystanders point of view. You see the problem was that I didn't see the goal after all, I only saw the replay. All I did was look away at the instant the goal was scored but I knew I would resent that goal forever as I missed it. In conversations about the goal for years to come that goal would be like a woman who finished with me...... I could laugh about it , oh yes, but the pain would never completely go away.

Now the equaliser from Chelsea, that was an entirely different matter. The TV was on in the background but none of us realised that a goal had been scored. I felt nothing for that goal and the winner, a marvellous goal from Lampard( Tim Howard slightly at fault) I saw in the comfort of CT's front room. But the afternoon would be tinged with sadness with the one that got away.

I think it's time I forgave my mum for asking if I wanted a yogurt during the 1977 Cup Final.


Friday, May 15, 2009

The Perfect Match - A book for men who like football and women and a bit of a laugh...oh and a beer

I have written a book about football and dating.

It is a formula for attracting women based on the 4-4-2 formation.

Although the readers have scored the book highly publishers do not want to know.

They think that men will not buy a book about attracting women.

It is only 14000 words long and so would take even the slowest reader the same amount of time as it takes a Derby County season ticket holder to regret his purchase ( approx 1 hour).

I know that when I was 18 I would have sold my next 10 snogs for a book like this.

I am just ordinary bloke not some sort of male model, so it is written from League 1 perspective and not a Champions League.

The thing about this formula is that it works. Which is really what you want a formula to do.

So would you be willing to buy a book like this?