Where is The Perfect Match hiding?

As rave reviews for The perfect Match continue to pile in, it is a source of bewilderment to the British Public where to purchase this tome of fine dating advice.
When pressed on the subject The Rani responded with a non-committal'It's the ash cloud you see...when it lifts just before the World Cup, I promise you will see The Perfect Match covering the shelves of all major book retailers'. Let's hope he's right!

The Rani is reeling after John Smiths shuts

After achieving promotion to the front window of John Smith's bookshop in Wolverhampton, the Rani was stunned to learn that the shop had closed down only 1 week later.

The Rani was heard saying 'It's easy to point the finger at the Perfect Match but for me the rot set in on Cup Final day when Portsmouth couldn't beat Chelsea after God had given them a 5 goal head start.When you cant capitalise on stats like that, the negativity can spread across the country and before you know it...you've got bookshops closing'.

The Perfect Match delivers the keys to Number 10

As a new prime minister was elected last night, it was only fitting that Mr Cameron's first call was to The Rani. Cameron thanked The Rani for writing the Perfect Match, as he had used the formula himself, with a few minor amendments, to assist in his courtship of the Liberal Democrats. Speaking live from the kitchen with a can of Bass in his hand, The Rani said, 'I am a simple man here to serve my country. If that means helping to form a government so be it'.

However, his neighbour Andy (who was drinking Old Speckled Hen) said 'you'll have to forgive The Rani's self-indulgence...it's been a hectic couple of days'.

The Perfect Match achieves automatic promotion

It is with Newcastleesque delight that I am reporting that The Perfect Match has been automatically promoted to the shop window of John Smiths bookshop at the University of Wolverhampton. The author Neil 'The Rani' Hingorani said that in these uncertain political times it will give the blokes of Britain great comfort to know there is one team that has risen above political differences to place itself firmly at the forefront of Britain's Dating Manifesto.Your first eleven is waiting for you! Here Here!

The Perfect Match signs for John Smiths

After detailed negotiations lasting into the wee hours of the morning, John Smiths bookshop finally agreed to take 20 copies of The Perfect Match on a sale or return basis. Neil Hingorani, author of the Perfect Match, was briefly available for comment after the signing and told the press that it was the sale or return basis that was the sticking point in the contract. The Rani went on to say that'I dont mind having 20 copies returned to me, its just that I'm not sure what to do with the other 1500 that are sitting in my garage'.

Rani scores late winner in Waterstones Cup

It was a day of mixed emotion at the Waterstones Cup. With kick off at 12 noon it was stalemate for the first half an hour and it looked like it was going to be a long day. But once I got off the mark, I coasted to a comfortable victory thanks to some heavyweight strikers in the form of my mum (10 copies) and my sister(20 copies). Best thing is though people are coming back to me telling me they enjoyed it.I know I shouldn't sound surprised but in all the fuss, I have actually forgotten that its a book and people are going to read it. Shame about the Rams result...enough said.

Oi Bernard... Get it ready!

Well tomorrow is the day I will cross the line as The Perfect Match is launched at Waterstones, Burton on Trent. Ten years of hard work will fade into the distance as I take the tape at 12noon . Now, far be it for me to judge others however if you were a real friend you would turn up and buy a copy. The amount of excuses I have heard this week about not coming. Someone from Loughborough told me today that it was too far to come. I mean have you heard anything like it... next thing folk from Burton will be saying they were driving past 'but it was a bit too much effort to get out of the car'. My real friends... see you tomorrow.